


Miraculous Crackybug - Hawkmoth

by TiredSoul



Series: Miraculous Crackybug [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: #ChloeIsTheREALVillain, #HawkmothIsAPrettyButterfly, ...Hawkward..., Chloe provides for him :), Hawkmoth is Mr Kubdel, Hawky is just doing his job, He just wants love, We all know Chloe is the real villain here, Yes Hawky is implied to be Felix in chap 6?, and hinted Alix/Nath, crazy shit be happening, hinted Jalil/Theo, my babs, my other babs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2018-06-10 13:19:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6958048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiredSoul/pseuds/TiredSoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's... <em> LITTERALLY </em> crack.<br/>For Hawky<br/>Haha I made a pun</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hawkmoth's Musings

Hawkmoth growled as he rubbed his temples for the, what was it, 570475th time this week? “Damn that Chloe Bourgeois.” He grumbled as he sent off _ANOTHER_ akuma. “I should hire her as my assistant, the way she’s going. She causes more akuma than I do, and I’m the guy who makes them.” He mumbled, making his way to the kitchen in his apartment. He turned on the kettle and glared at the clock on the wall. 4.57am was the time, causing his scowl to deepen. “It’s too early for this shit.” He sighed, preparing himself for a terrible day.


	2. Hawkmoth's annoyance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where even Hawkmoth gets akumatised

Ladybug and Chat Noir looked to each other in confusion. _“HAWKMOTH?!”_ Ladybug whisper yelled. “What the hell are you doing here? And why were you an akuma?” Hawkmoth looked down at the pair in slight annoyance, before huffing.

“If you must know, it was that Bourgeois girl. This happens more than you think. That girl is so annoying that even _I_ get akumatised.” Chat Noir raised an eyebrow at this. “I didn’t even know I could akumatise myself until it happened!” Hawkmoth mumbled, crossing his arms like a child. “I’m going home now.” Ladybug and Chat watched as he left.

“That… was weird.”

“Tell me about it.”


	3. Hawkmoth and the day he took a vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also called - Hawkmoth and the day he just didn't give a shit  
> Also puns

Hawkmoth smiled as he brought the cup to his lips. _‘Ah, I can feel that today will be good.’_ He thought as sipped his coffee.

He. Was. WRONG.

_**“HAWKMOTH!”** _

_…Fuck._

 

He sighed, putting the cup down and looking up to see Ladybug and Chat Noir standing in front of him. “Yes?” He raised an eyebrow, and they looked slightly offended.

“What the hell are you doing?! You’re a villain for crying out loud!” Ladybug hissed, and Hawkmoth blinked slowly.

“Am I not entitled to a holiday, once in a while?” He asked. “I mean, it _IS_ hard work being a super villain, after all.” He shrugged. “But that is not the point at all. I am resting, which means you can as well.” He picked up his cup and brought it to his lips again.

“Honestly, Bugaboo, I think we should take this _op-purr-tuna-ty_. Let’s go get ice cream or something, just this once?” Chat Noir smiled shyly, causing Hawkmoth to smirk into his cup. Ladybug looked a cross between annoyed and surprised by this. She glanced between the two before sighing.

“Alright, kitty, let’s go for ice cream. But no more puns, you hear me?” She wasn’t even halfway through her answer when Chat punched the air in happiness. He took Ladybug’s hand and Hawkmoth watched as the pair ran.

“Maybe today will be a good day, after all.” He sipped his coffee, smiling.


	4. Hawkmoth and the twitter account

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have a twitter account just for hawky  
> Feel free to ask for it

#HawkmothSTAHP was filling the social media when Hawkmoth logged into his normal twitter account. His brow furrowed deeply. “What in heavens…” He mumbled under his breath, scrolling through the page, a frown slowly forming on his face as he found the source of the hashtag.

@Chat Noir tweeted: Im sooooo tired rn from all teh akuma #HawkmothSTAHP

Hawkmoth groaned into his hands. “Damn that cat.” He murmured, logging out of his twitter. Then, a thought came to him. He smirked darkly.

@Hawkmoth tweeted: I wouldn’t be making akuma if SOMEONE stopped making people angry. #ImNotTheRealVillainHere 

Hawkmoth sat back and watched as several people commented and retweeted the comment, causing him to snort. “Well, this will be fun.” He left his laptop alone for a few moments, deciding he was getting lunch. When he came back, he was surprised to see comment under his,

@Ladybug tweeted: If you’re not the real villain, who is, Hawky? 

Hawkmoth frowned. She seriously was asking this? He typed back,

@Hawkmoth tweeted: That Chloe girl is, of course. She makes more akuma than I can keep up with. #ChloeIsTheREALVillain

He logged out of Hawkmoth’s twitter and back into his normal account, before turning off his laptop for the rest of the day.

When he opened a tab for twitter, he was surprised to see that the #ChloeIsTheREALVillain hashtag was trending. _Odd._ Shrugging, he retweeted the hashtag, smiling because no one would even link Hawkmoth to him.

Oh, how he loved twitter.


	5. Nooroo and Chili

“Nooroo…” The butterfly kwami looked up at his chosen. “What exactly do you eat?” He found himself asking the kwami, causing him to frown.

“Well, I’m not that picky…” Nooroo began, but, seeing the look on his chosen’s face, he added, “But I do like spicy things, preferably chili…” Hawkmoth, in his civilian form, smiled at the kwami and stood up, startling the kwami. The Kwami watched as his chosen walked away and frowned.

He was slightly surprised when his chosen came back with his hands behind his back. He could smell chili, which made him salivate. He was not amused when his chosen had shown his a picture of _The Red Hot Chili Peppers_ band instead of actual chili. He scowled as he watched his chosen laugh. He would have his revenge…


	6. Hawkmoth and the theories

When Hawkmoth logged into facebook, he was surprised to find he had been tagged in a status. Clicking onto the status, he quickly read it over.

_‘I think Hawkmoth is Gabriel’_ One comment said. _‘Maybe it’s Mister Kubdel?’_ another wrote. He hummed to himself as he read the comments. “Wow, people really want to know who Hawkmoth is.” He murmured, moving his arm to scratch his back in slight annoyance. Then, he saw a comment that surprised him.

_‘Hey, does anyone remember that kid, Felix? Maybe Hawky is him?’_ He blinked once. Twice. Three times.

“Well, shit.”


	7. Hawkmoth and the time he accidentally went into a chatroom

CN: Hey, Bug, did you invite someone?

LB: … No?

CN: Then why is there someone in the chat?

CN: Haha geddit?

LB: -.-

HW: Um…

HW: I’m a pretty butterfly?

CN: …

LB: …

CN: LOL

LB: WTF OMG XD

HW: …Gimme your miraculouses…

LB: Nah

HW: Damn that usually works.

CN: Nope. I’m done. I AM OUT


	8. Hawkmoth and the time he was a shipper

“Go, my little akuma, help bring those two together!” He watched as the butterfly flew away, and smirked. “Everything is going according to plan. Soon, Adrien will realise Marinette is the one for him, and Ladybug will finally realise Chat Noir is the one for her.” He purred, watching as the butterfly reached towards his next victim.

 

“…Oh, come on! _SERIOUSLY?!_ Kiss her, you stupid boy!” Hawkmoth found himself screeching as he watched Marinette stutter and Adrien smile encouragingly at her. “Why won’t you kiss her?! SHE’S LITERALLY LADYBUG YOU IDIOT! YOU STUPID CAT BOY!” 

“…Alexandre, he’s at it again…”

“Emilie, just ignore him, he’ll calm down after a while…”


	9. Hawkmoth's thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No seriously this is just crack.

_‘Hey, maybe I should go out today.’_ He thought when he first woke up. _‘Maybe even get a cake, while I’m at it. Today is going to be a great day. Cake. Aw yeah.’_

_‘Aw no.’_ He thought as he left the Dupain-Cheng bakery, hearing a couple arguing. _‘I_ LITERALLY _just got the cake. Come on. Why does this always happen when I’m hungry?’_ He walked away, to a secluded area so he could transform, and go back to his base.

_‘You guys done? I’m really hungry here.’_ He thought as he watched Chat Noir and Ladybug fist-bump. His stomach growled as he stared hungrily at the cake he bought. _‘This better be a good cake or I’m seriously going to rage.’_

It was a good cake.


	10. Hawkmoth and the time he met Adrien Agreste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is brought to you with the help of Ruby/Adrien on shamchat. (This is day one of shamchat) (the akuma part was also from another convo as well)

Adrien blinked when he saw Hawkmoth, standing right in front of him. He was at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, (Adrien was visiting Marinette, Hawky is there for cake, damnit) and, well, the line was really long, so Hawkmoth decided to do what any normal human would do in these situations. Start up a conversation.

"I'm a pretty butterfly." Were the words that fell out of Hawkmoth's mouth, causing him to internally curse. The look on Adrien 's face, though, was priceless.

"Uh..."

"Tell me I'm a pretty butterfly!" Hawkmoth stared at Adrien in slight annoyance, still cursing himself internally.

"You're... a pretty butterfly?" 

"Good. Good." 

"Am i dreaming? I think I'm dreaming. This.... this is severely screwed up." Adrien whispered to himself.

"I'm only a villain because of Chloe. Chloe is the REAL villain." Adrien's head snapped up, and he gaped at Hawkmoth.

"This... is the guy who makes akuma, right?"

"Yes. Yes it is." Adrien continued to gape. "Chloe causes more akuma than I do, and I'm _LITTERALLY_ the guy who makes them. HA! I SLAY ME!" Adrien swallowed. He saw Marinette at the side, and he let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm... just going to go..." he edge away from Hawkmoth, and Hawkmoth nodded.

"Ah, yes, have fun, young Agreste." Hawkmoth nodded, finally getting his cake and flying away like a pretty butterfly. Adrien gaped after the man.

"What just happened?" Marinette shrugged beside him, and Adrien hoped it was a dream.

 

It was hours later when Adrien ran into Hawkmoth again, and he could see Hawkmoth open his mouth. "Don't say it." Adrien warned.

"Pretty"

"NO!"

"BUTTERFLY!"

 _"ButterWHY?!"_ Adrien screamed, causing Hawkmoth to cackle. "WHY WOULD YOU HURT ME THIS WAY?!"

"Because... I am... Pretty..." 

"NOPE!" Adrien cried, edging away from the man.

"Butterfly."

"NOPE! NOPE NOPE NOPE! GOODBYE!" Adrien screamed, running away. Hawkmoth stood there, grinning.

"Good kid."


	11. Hawkmoth and the time he met Chat Noir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of Hawky meets Adrien. Yesterday I saw Ruby/Adrien again. She was not happy to see me again.

Chat Noir was anxious. He had been seeing more and more of Hawkmoth, wherever he went. Mostly when he was Adrien, but still, he did not like this. He knew, sooner or later, he would see Hawkmoth. Ladybug, who was beside him, could see his anxiety and sighed, squeezing his arm. "It's okay, catboy." Chat sighed, and turned away....

....Only to become face to face with Hawkmoth.

He screamed. So did Hawkmoth. Only, Hawkmoth wasn't screaming, he was yelling, "CHLOE IS THE REAL VILLAIN!"

"OH MY GOD! AGAIN?! I'M IN A SUPERHERO COSTUME BUT YOU STILL FIND ME! WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?" Chat screamed, and Hawkmoth looked confused.

"I'm not following you, I'm following the Yellow Brick Road."

"WELL I'M NOWHERE NEAR THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD SO YOU'RE DEFINITELY FOLLOWING ME!" Hawkmoth blinked rapidly.

"Wait... this isn't Oz?," Hawkmoth asked, his head cocked to the side.

"NO!" Chat screamed. "THIS IS ADRIEN AGRESTE!" Neither noticed Ladybug's gasp.

"Wait, what?" Hawkmoth gaped. "I genuinely did not anticipate this."

"WELL YOU GOT IT ANYWAY! I'M GOING HOME!" Chat snapped, extending his baton and leaving. Now only Hawkmoth and Ladybug were left. Ladybug stared at Hawkmoth, and Hawkmoth stared back.

"I agree." Ladybug finally spoke.

"Huh?" 

"Chloe is the real villain." Ladybug answered, before using her yo-yo and leaving. Now, Hawkmoth was alone.

"...Well, shit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending part with Ladybug is something I got from a lot of people on shamchat when I used this hashtag: #ChloeIsTheREALVillain


	12. Hawkmoth and the time he made a fanfic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm literally maing this up on the spot

_Her chest heaved from below him, eyes glazed over, her lips forming a small 'o'. "C-Chat..." She moaned, causing her partner to flash her a feral grin..._

"Wait. Why am I writing a smut for LadyNoir?" Hawkmoth looked up from his laptop in surprise. "Why am I even writing fanfics? I should be akumatising people right now!" Silence. "Eh." Tapping of the keyboard.


	13. Hawkmoth and The New Heroes

Hawkmoth frowned when he was the new heroes. Queen Bee and Volpina.  
"Excuse me? What the fuck? Who the fuck gave CHLOÉ BOURGEOIS a Miraculous? WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?" Hawkmoth yelled, picking up a table and flipping it. "Nah, fuck this, I'm done." He grumbled and left the room.


	14. Hawkmoth and the time he fucked up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawky fucks up, 'nough said
> 
> He also has a lovely talk with his family.

He knew something wasn't right when his own children were gaping at him in horror. But he still continued to eat his pancakes and drink his coffee silently.

He was worried when his beautiful wife came out and screamed. He finally looked down at himself...

"...Fuck, I forgot to get out of the suit." Hawkmoth grumbled, and his gaze flickered to his children and wife.

"Wait... dad?!" Alix gasped in horror.

Welp, now his kids know.

"...Well, fuck." Both Jalil and Hawkmoth spoke. 

"Goodness... are there any other secrets we all need to share?" Mama Kubdel asked, and Jalil said,

"Eh, might as well. I'm dating Theo."

"...wait, you're gay? I thought Alix was." Hawkmoth deadpanned.

"Nah, I'm straight and dating Nath."

"Wow, my gaydar is way off."

"As is your fashion sense. Seriously, a full faced mask? Ew." Jalil raised an eyebrow.

"You shut your whore mouth."


	15. Hawkmoth and the time he met La Papillon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawkmoth meets La Papillon, who's from a different universe. One that my friends and I have sorta made.

La Papillon instantly stiffened, gripping her staff tightly as she glared viciously at the familiar figure in front of her, but Hawkmoth only stared blankly. 

One, who on earth was this girl?  
Two, why was she glaring at him?  
And Three...

"How the fuck did you get into my hideout?" He deadpanned, and the pink haired hero snarled.

"Don't fuck with me, Hawkmoth, I know your games. Trying to lure me to your side and betray my friends. Not happening, I keep telling you!"

"That's all well and good, but WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET HERE?"

"I DON'T KNOW, YOU OLD TURD!" La Papillon roared, and Hawkmoth's temper flared. 

"WHY YOU LITTLE...!" He ran at her, cane at the ready to beat her to a pulp. La Papillon dodged, and roared.

Nearby, Ladybug and Chat Noir, our Ladybug and Chat, stood next to another pair, albeit both girls.

"Uh.. shouldn't we stop them?" Ladybug Mari spoke up, and the female Chat (Juleka. Rose is the other bug) shook her head. 

"Let them deal with it. Besides, Pap needs it."

Somehow, they all figured La Papillon would be the winner here.

They weren't wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alix is La Papillon.   
> In that same au, her father is Hawkmoth, and he'd managed to split the miraculous into three pieces. The third was given to Jalil.  
> For more, please ask and I'll link you the AUs.


	16. Hawkmoth and the time he watched Miraculous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawkmoth watches Miraculous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hawkmoth is Mr Kubdel here because i am one salty ass gal.  
> Very salty.

A sheer look of disgust appeared on his face as he watched the show he himself was starring in.  
"Absolutely disgusting. They turned me into Gabriel! GABRIEL, THE PONCE!" He scowled. "God DAMN IT!" He roared, before throwing his tv remote at the tv. No more of that!


End file.
